My Testimony explains how I am able to reach the multitudes through my own experiences.
In 1952, I was born into a Jewish family, the daughter of a psychotic, manic-depressive mother, and a World War II veteran with war-induced emotional problems, and a sister with manic depression as well. We lived in poverty, and filth. With God's protection I have been spared the mental problems that plagued my family.
For my first two years of life, I was sickly, and my older sister, envious of the time my mother spent caring for me, tried three times to end my life. Once by poison, once by suffocation, and once by strangulation. I didn't understand at the time why my sister did those things to me, and always after that, never understood why she hated me so and was so jealous. I later discovered, it was because of my mother's attention she had to give me because of my illnesses, the time was taken from her, and she carried that resentment, through to her adulthood. To this day we do not speak. I love her very much, and pray for her daily.
As I became school age, the children at school, treated me as an outcast, because I was homely and overweight. The children thought it fun to chase and beat me up, daily, as well. I would come home after school with my dresses torn, and my mother would beat me again and send me to bed.
At home, my mother beat and tortured me. I would sit on the steps and cry out to Jesus. I do believe He drew me to Himself. She would often gather up all of my clothes, and throw them all away except for one outfit, which I would wear each day. There were times, she would take a wooden hanger and beat me in one spot till I was black and blue. She would always tell me I would never amount to anything and what a bad person I was. I believed her, although I didn't know why she said that about me.
There were times she would throw me down on the floor and make me eat on all fours like a dog, with my food on the floor. One time I recall she wanted me to take vitamins, and I always gagged on them, so, she would wait till company would come over, and make me take them in front of them and gag and make me take them till they went down.
I learned to submit and obey at a very early age, as a survival instinct, so the beatings wouldn't be so bad. I saw that the more I would resist the more severe it would be. I endured a lot of verbal abuse as well... taking those false truths with me into adulthood... and believing them. Not realizing at the time that submission would become a real blessing in my later years in life... when I became to know Jesus and serve Him more.
When I was five years old a young neighbor molested me. Theirmother saw what they were doing, and died soon after of a heart attack. The double episode devastated me.
The State took me from my parent's home when I was sixteen. Someone had called the authorities, and turned her in. They came and saw the condition of the house and the marks on me, and placed me in the foster care of my fiancé's parents. That didn't last. My fiancé joined the Navy, and wrote me a "Dear Joyce" letter six months later.
When I was seventeen I left my foster home, and tried life on my own. Success! I finished high school. But the pain of my past haunted me. To escape I got into drugs and alcohol, and became addicted to Crystal Methadrene, blue valium, marijuana and experimented with acid and mescaline and cilicyben mushrooms. I tried on several occasions F40s which were Seconal, and once took so many, and was so out of it, a team of Bikers came over and pulled a train on me sexually, and that was told to me, long afterwards, because I didn't even remember it. My life flew dizzily by.
At nineteen I was raped and left for dead. At twenty-three I became pregnant, didn't know who the father was, because I was so active sexually and wanted to be loved so badly, I slept with many men... but lost my baby girl in a car accident. At twenty-four a car accident took my best friend. I was devastated.
And when I was twenty-five another close friend was murdered by herex-husband. He tried to kill me, but two men pulled him off, of me in a bar. He was choking me. My close friend literally laid down her life for me. She knew he was capable of killing and instead of allowing me to take the blame of something that happened, she did, knowing full well, he would kill her. That was a very difficult thing for me to deal with, for someone to think of me that much , they would lay down their life for me, later realizing Jesus did that very thing for us all...
I began working at a bowling alley, and there met my son's father. I was raped, He left the day after my son was conceived, and I never saw him again. I decided at that time to become celibate, and have remained so, ever since.
There were times I tired to end my life, BUT God had a different plan. The pain of my past was excruciating, and throughout the years I got the counseling I needed to help sort things out... Praise God!!!
The Lord certainly had His hand upon me... Praise God, I've been clean and sober for over twenty two years now !!!!
I had cried to him when I was five, but through the years I left him behind. Since 1997, my mother passed away 1998, my aunt In Arizona died as well, she was my favorite aunt. My dear Brother In Christ In March of 1999, and my great Aunt passed on May 12th, 1999. My dad is 84 and has Leukemia. He is in remission though, praise God. I help care for him.
I grew closer to Jesus more than ever and have found great solace and peace in HIM... I also had a visitation Pentecost Sunday 1999, that filled my room with the smell of Roses :) The Holy Spirit descended upon me and the overwhelming feeling of JOY, Love and Peace filled my entire being... God is awesome !!!
Now, I've dedicated my life, and my son to Jesus Christ, and for the past twenty two years, with God's help, and counseling over the years and taking Psychology in College, I've operated a ministry for people who are broken and hurting inside: people just like myself, and learned and advanced to a New level of LOVE. His Love... that I find few have achieved in Christ, because of my dedication and my willingness , that daily builds my relationship with Jesus.
I am able to reach MANY diverse kinds of people in Love, Compassion and Understanding, and love them into the Kingdom by first hand knowing full well, what Jesus can and does see us through... GIVING HIM ALL the GLORY.
I can't take their burdens away, but I can ease their burdens and pain, by sharing what HE has taught me and living the way God teaches through the bible, and by His example. Without Judging anyone!!!
The earthquake of '94 nearly ended my mission. My son and I lost our apartment and all our belongings, but by God's grace our lives were spared. We were in the '94 earthquake here In California on the epicenter.
We were homeless for 3 months. We had our '68 Ford Galaxy left though, and lived in that for the 3 months. We still managed to have the bread ministry to the homeless and less fortunate we began in 1980. We would fill up the car, go to the tents and people in the parks, and streets and help feed them. When donations of blankets came to me, we delivered those as well, imparting Gods love and giving comfort and hope to all, one person at a time...
So, I continue giving food and clothing and bibles to street people, wherever God sends me. I start my day with Him, and end it with Him, and devote the rest of my day to His service. I aid the terminally ill in their homes as well as the elderly afflicted, and help teach the downs syndrome adults, independent living skills, and counsel them, as well. I go wherever God sends me and Love the hurting and broken... DAILY, into the Kingdom of God. I try and learn and research new ways to perpetuate Gods Love to all of mankind, and while I learn and stumble myself at times, I am open to correction, and have a teachable spirit. These are key factors in growth...
I go to the convalescent homes when I am able and read to the patients and sometimes hold them in my arms when they cry.It's important to make and take time to listen to others too.
The Ministry God gave me is based on Gods love, and with that, while we first build our relationship with HIM, we can then go to others and learn how to love them and impart what HE has taught.
One does not necessarily have to attend a formal school or education to achieve great depth in intimacy with Jesus and all of His ways, each day we remember to include the Lord in everything we do and say. We cannot go wrong... and when our flesh rises up, as it will sometimes do, use those very times to draw even closer to HIM :)
Stay in the Word and right next to the Lords heart...
I welcome your prayers for God's direction, and for miracles and blessings to unfold even further in my life... so that I can reach the multitudes for His Glory!!!
Love In The Lamb,
His servant, Joyce
